Sweethearts Eli, 94, and Sandra, 89, were talking about their wedding plans when they passed a drugstore. They walked in and approached the pharmacist.
“Tell me,” says Eli. “Do you sell heart medication here?”
“Of course,” says the druggist.
“Medicine for circulation?” asks Eli.
“A full line,” says the druggist.
“Rheumatism? Scoli- osis? Arthritis?”
“The very best medicine, guaranteed to work,” says the druggist.
“What about adult diapers?” asked Sandra.
“Of course,” said the druggist.
“Vitamins for memory problems, and the druggist nodded.
“Wheelchairs and walkers?”
“Over in the fourth aisle,” the druggist replied. “All types.”
“Perfect!” exclaimed Eli. “Where do we register for wedding gifts?”
The Page sees Big Lakes County is trying to get Alberta Court of Justice to hold court in Faust.
Fat chance, but if you never ask it will not happen.
Faust used to hold court each month in the late 1980s and 1990s until the lawyers complained. It seems they were worried about their safety and cried until the towels were soaking wet and court was moved to High Prairie. Never mind the inconvenience for all the residents “way out here” away from High Prairie. Never mind their safety traveling winter roads to get to High Prairie or risk having a judge find them in contempt of court for not appearing. No worries about making Lakeshore and Faust police come to High Prairie. No, no! It was all about the lawyers. Poor babies!
Good luck to Big Lakes County. Court will be back in Faust as soon as pigs fly and that fresh water lobster fishery opens on near by Lesser Slave Lake.
The Page has a friend who is so old that each year on his birthday he has to get a fire extinguisher to put the candles out on the cake!
The Page notes we are in the midst of National School Safety Week.
The promotion runs from Oct. 17-23 by the Canada Safety Council, which encourages everyone to make the journey to and from school safe.
Causes of accidents? Not surprising. The biggies include distracted driving, speeding, congested pick-up areas and poor visibility. Local law enforcement is always on the lookout for culprits and issues a fair number of tickets to careless drivers.
Can never be too careful, especially at or near schools!
How about the recent provincial election in Quebec!
It certainly riled the people down at Fair Vote Canada, who point out a record low voter turnout occurred, and that a mere 28 per cent elected a minority government.
Fair Vote says it’s time for election reform.
No complaints from the Parti Quebecois, who secured enough seats to form a minority government. Life is just wonderful, according to them!
But just over one in four voters elected a government? It is barely over one in four actual voters and does not count all the other citizens who could not be bothered.
The Page thinks Quebecers are pretty smart, actually. Why bother voting if none of the candidates are any good?
Last week, Oct. 15, marked the start of the Government of Alberta’s winter utility rules.
What is that, you ask? It is a rule that keeps the lights and heat on for Albertans until it expires April 15, 2027. By law, residential electricity services cannot be disconnected. Starting Nov. 1, natural gas services also cannot be disconnected by retailers.
The law, which pretty much includes most of the time period cited, says disconnections are prohibited if temperatures are forecast to fall below zero degrees within 24 hours of a planned disconnection.
The rule was put in place to protect vulnerable Albertans from having critical utility services cut off when winter hits, and ensure providers can provide for their families.
What the government does not tell you is if bills are not paid, penalties are applied and it costs even more once next year hits. So, if you think you can ignore your bill until next April, not only will you pay months and months of accumulated utility bills, but penalties also.
Best to keep up paying those bills as best you can!
Smart woman says God was worried Adam would get lost in Garden of Eden because men never ask for directions!
Smart woman also said God created man first, then said, “Gee, I can do a whole lot better than that!”
The Page says to be leery of acupuncturists because some of them are backstabbers!
Never choose a trial by jury because you are trusting your fate to 12 people not smart enough to get out of jury duty!
Two nuns are shopping at a food store and happen to pass by the wine, beer and liquor section.
“Would you like a beer?” the first Sister asks the second.
“That would be nice,” says the second Sister, but added she would feel uncomfortable buying beer with so many people around.
“What would they think?” she asked.
“I will handle it,” said the first Sister. She picked up a six-pack and approached the cashier.
“This is for washing our hair,” she said.
The cashier reached out from under the counter and placed a package of pretzels in the bag with the beer.
“The curlers are on me!” he replied.
Farmer Dave went over to his buddy, Farmer Kevin’s place, but did not see him in the fields. He looked around the farmyard and eventually found him in the barn with some country music playing and a candlelight dinner set out by the tractor.
“What are you doing?” asked Farmer Dave.
“Well, to be honest,” said Farmer Kevin. “My marriage is on the rocks. We went to couple’s therapy and the doctor said I should be putting more effort and that I needed to do something sexy to a tractor!”
You might need to say this out loud to understand!
If a human being catches bird flu, does that mean he will sit on a wire and mess all over his neighbour’s windshield?
What is the difference between being in prison and being a corporate employee?
In prison, you get free health care!
What a world!
Have a great week!