The Page says to never take a sleeping pill and a laxative the same night.
Or, stock up on Tide!
Halloween is Saturday!
Be safe for the trick-or-treaters on the streets!
Children are very excited and lose focus when it comes to safety. Please be careful!
At the News office, our resident black cat, Slink Panther, is excited. He actually moved from his chair last week but that was after one of the staff offered him Temptation treats.
Halloween and black cats! What a perfect fit!
One of The Page’s friends is going to dress as Juliet for Halloween.
Contrary to rumour, she says she is not looking for her Romeo.
Sorry, all you single guys!
The Page has a solution to stop all those credit card companies from calling.
Just tell them you filed for bankruptcy and you need some money!
Seriously, adding to the above item, if you get phone calls from telemarketers, just tell them you work in the communications industry. It usually gets you deleted from the calling lists they sell and share to each other.
Why? Because if you worked for a specific form of media, you can sway the results in your favour by telling the caller all sorts of good things about your media of employment.
Of course, print media doesn’t have to do that! Reasons are obvious! We are so humble!
All that cheering you heard late Monday night was from Ottawa!
It seems Prime Minister Mark Carney and the rest of the Liberal boys and girls were cheering the election results in Alberta, where 75 per cent voted to not pursue separation and stay within Canada.
The Page hopes Carney does not take this vote as a message from Alberta that everyone is happy.
No doubt he will and continue to put the screws to Alberta. Ottawa’s treatment of the entire West as a land to purge to the benefit of the East continues.
The question now arises: will anything change?
Will the vote prompt Ottawa to take a hard look at how it treats the West and Alberta?
The Page does not think so. Alberta had a chance to send the strongest message possible to Ottawa. Not anymore.
The Page is not in favour of separation but would have preferred to see a “No” vote in the 55-60 per cent range to send a message to Ottawa.
Yeah, The Page knows! Like Ottawa has ever listened to Alberta! The recent vote just gives them another reason not to. Happy as clams, those Alberta folk!
The Page is confused yet again!
How come most people complaint when there aren’t enough policemen to catch thieves but complaint even more when there are too many policemen who catch them speeding?
The Page was quite impressed after reading two business stories in last week’s paper and the names chosen.
All the Sundays (formerly Spotted Fawn) in High Prairie references a day of rest. The owner, Brenda Vink, has chosen the name and sets her own hours to avoid what she calls “the relentless demand” of running the business.
Smart move! What is the sense of running a business if you do not enjoy it?
Choosing Blame it All on My Roots for a hair studio is quite ingenious! No explanation is needed!
Oh, the stories we could tell! Like how Clairol and Oil of Olay have made more liars out of women than any other products!
Hey, what we will pay to look good, right!
Fortunately, The Page does not have that problem!
Oct. 19, the City of Winipeg announced it was closing two arenas for the year for needed repairs. One is the Terry Sawchuk arena. It closes to repair structural beams.
Whoa! Thank goodness the High Prairie Sports Palace did not need repairs to that extend. Repairs needed included adding some support to a few existing beams. No major damage here!
The Page sympathizes with Winnipeggers.
The Page is confused.
Is it good if a vacuum cleaner really sucks?
How come tug boats push barges?
Does expecting the unexpected make the unexpected expected?
How come a wise man and wise guy are opposites?
Why is abbreviated such a long word?
The Page’s head hurts!
Veronica saw Sally wearing a new locket and asked if there was a memento inside.
“Yes,” says Sally. “A lock of my husband’s hair.”
“But he’s still alive,” said Veronica.
“I know,” said Sally. “But all his hair is gone!”
A grandfather, a retired pirate, is talking to his grandson.
“Grandpa, why do you have a hook in your hand?”
“Boy,” he says. “I fell into the ocean and I got bit by a shark and lost me hand.”
The boy is confused but still asking questions.
“And why are you wearing that eyepatch?”
“Aye, a seagull flew over me and pooped on me eye.”
“And you lost your eye from that?” asks the grandson.
“Naw,” says the grandfather. “It was me first day with the hook!”
Have a great week, everyone!