The Page – January 11, 2023

Alberta Health Services announced Dec. 29 it will not be releasing information on the New Year’s babies at its facilities due to “a surge in respiratory illnesses”. So, AHS and Covenant Health will not be identifying or announcing the winning babies.
The Page agrees that inviting media into hospitals at this time is not a good thing, but why can’t AHS still announce which babies are born first? It would have nothing to do and pose no risk that AHS cites.
Seems like this needs a sober second thought. It is not that much work to note which baby is born first. Is it?

Years ago, this newspaper used to gather prizes and present a huge gift to the winning family. It was quite a loaded basket worth quite a few bucks.
The Page also happens to have a cousin who was born Jan. 1. His mother used to joke she planned to conceive April 1 so she had a shot at winning all the prizes. Darned if she did! Not sure if the uncle took her on bumpy ride on New Years Eve!
Ah, the lengths some people go to win a prize!

Did you know that January is Divorce Month?
The Page received a news release telling him there are more divorces in January than any other month. Apparently, the reason is people do not want to get divorced over the holidays so there is a “backlog” of couples beginning the process in January.
And the Page thought it was because husbands brought lousy Christmas presents for their wives! Silly me!
The Page has also done extensive research on marriage and discovered that marriage is the leading cause of divorce. The Page should get a big government grant to further study this theory.

Husbands and boyfriends, do not forget that Sweeties Day is less than one month away! Yes, Valentine’s Day is one month and three days away!
Isn’t it interesting that men are supposed to get elaborate presents for their sweeties? The Page thinks that might be a bit sexist in today’s world. How about the women spoiling the men?
Actually, it doesn’t seem nearly as romantic when a wife gives her husband a set of wrenches compared to the husband buying chocolates, roses or perfumes for his favourite gal.
The Page likes to buy presents that are soft in case she doesn’t like them. That way, they don’t hurt as much when she throws it back at him.

If you did not know, The Page is single and cooks at home.
His wish for 2023 is to meet and shake the hand of the genius who invented Pepto-Bismol!

Never eat at a restaurant where you see a fly on the window sill munching on a Rolaids!

Speaking of cooking, the only thing a modern woman can cook as well as her grandmother is another man’s goose!

The good folks down at the Western Canada Lottery Corporation sent The Page this note: in 2022, 72 new millionaires realized their fortune thanks to the lottery.
Of those winners, 49 were in Alberta, 13 in Saskatchewan, nine in Manitoba and one in Nunavut.
Sad to report, The Page was not one of them and is wondering what he did to anger the Lottery Gods!

The Page saw a story the other day where Oymyakon claims to be the coldest inhabited place to live on the planet. Oymyakon is a village in eastern Russia.
Boy, those guys who rate these places weren’t around here a couple weeks ago! It was as cold as a sled dog’s snoot. The Page almost wishes he had Michael Jackson’s other glove. Or it was so cold the politicians had their hands in their own pockets!
Seriously, we have it pretty good here. Sure, a few cold days but no hurricanes or volcanos. Notice The Page didn’t say earthquakes!

A final note: a caller to this newspaper wanted to wish Jeff and Patti Burlock a “Happy Anniversary” Jan. 15. Since we no longer publish local birthdays and anniversaries, The Page is only too happy to pass along best wishes.

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