The Page – February 7, 2024

The Page warns all the fellas out there it is only seven days until Valentine’s Day.
It is time to start shopping for the perfect gift for your sweetie or get ready to reinforce the doghouse and make it more comfortable for spring living.
Or, as one of The Page’s friends says regarding his wife, “Just having me around is reward enough!”


The Page perused one site listing the 10 most popular Valentine’s Day gifts. Here they are with The Page’s sage advice:

  1. Cards with a gift. Makes sense. Does not say how expensive the gift is, but it’s the thought that counts, right? Just make sure the gift is over $5 and do not leave the receipt attached!
  2. Personal gift. Does not list specifics, but let your mind wander. Fellas, keep you mind out of the gutter!
  3. Chocolates. Hint! Guys, always buy the kind you like in case she doesn’t like them! Then you can enjoy!
  4. Flowers. Almost every gal likes roses! Be careful of potential allergies!
  5. Dinner. Fellas, do not tell her it also gives your stomach a much-needed break!
  6. Clothing! Again, no specifics. Let your mind wander. Skimpier may not always be better!
  7. Gift vouchers. Cannot go wrong. Then she can get what she wants. But. . .some gals say it’s the easy way out. Guys, do you know your sweetie’s favourite style, colour, and – most importantly – size?
  8. House plants. Poison ivy the exception.
  9. Perfume. The Page advises again this. She might take this as a hint she doesn’t smell so good!
  10. Jewelry. Just don’t get it from the Cracker Jack box.
    The Page notices a few obvious items missing: dishwasher, washing machine, frying pan, a new mop and bucket.
    Is it any wonder The Page is single?

The Page remembers an old Eek and Meek comic strip. Eek and Meek were two mice. One longed to find a wife. It went something like this:
“In my search for the perfect woman, I will leave no stone unturned,” proclaimed one.”
“Good,” said the other. “That’s probably where you’ll find her!


One of The Page’s friends calls Feb. 14 Singles Awareness Day. How about Lonely Hearts Club Day?


Enough about Valentine’s Day!


Alberta Minister of Environment and Protected Areas Minister Rebecca Schultz announced Feb. 1 several initiatives to reduce emissions.
Strange! Not one mention of less speeches from politicians!


The new Canadian income tax form:
First, declare your income.
Second, deduct expenses.
Third, determine how much you have left.
Fourth send the rest in.


A teenager girl brings her boyfriend home to her parents. The mother is appalled. He has a terrible haircut, tattoos, piercings, and holes all over his jeans in not to flattering spots.
“Dear,” says the mother to her daughter. “I don’t think that’s a very nice boy.”
“Oh, mother!” says the daughter. “That can’t be true. He’s doing 500 hours of community service work!”


Speaking of court, on the front page we report two youth are sentenced to probation and community service for what High Prairie youth court termed a “vicious” assault on a High Prairie merchant in 2022.
Truly pathetic! What kind of message does that send? Not much deterrent there.
Readers may also be curious as to how an “early guilty plea” from an assault that occurred 17 months ago is early. Apparently, an early guilty plea in youth court is designated as such if the plea occurs and a trial is avoided.


Don’t forget the big weekend coming up from Feb. 16-19. It is the long Family Day weekend. Events are occurring all over the region. South Peace News is listing some of them on Page 10. We will do so again in the Feb. 14 edition. Send your event to South Peace News and we will include it. Please email to spneditor@outlook.com


Enjoying the extremely nice, warm weather, everone?
Sure beats that -40C a couple weeks ago!


Have a great week!

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