The Page – April 13, 2022

The big talk last week was that no one has claimed the big $70 million April 8 Lotto Max jackpot, at least at the time of this writing.
The winning ticket was sold in rural Alberta, meaning not Edmonton or Calgary. Assuming that ticket was bought by an Albertan, someone is stinking rich!
Many people have theories why no one has stepped forward. The Page assumes, logically, that the winner is saving up enough money to buy a tank of gas to make the trip to St. Albert to claim the prize!

A sure sign of spring is that Canada geese have arrived! Soon, they will be building nests and having little duckies!
Everyone knows Canada geese have that distinctive honking sounds. The Page has noticed the front goose never honks. It’s because he has no one to pass!

Last week, our embroiled Premier Jason Kenney was in full election mode. Better known as trying to save his ass in his bid to remain as leader of the United Conservative Party.
In an open letter to UCP members, Kenney wrote he had the support of 19 former MLAs. Wow! Count ‘em! That’s almost two dozen!
A perusal over the list sees former kingpins [or queenpins!] such as Shirley McClellan, Wayne Drysdale, Iris Evans, Many Anne Jablonski and about a dozen other back benchers the RCMP can’t find today or the average Albertan does not know. One name was vaguely familiar to The Page, who thought he placed sixth in the recent Iditarod Sled Dog Race in Alaska. Another was vaguely familiar as a sixth round draft choice of the Calgary Stampeders in 1975.
What this means The Page doesn’t know. Realizing these letters are from “former” MLAs means they either retired, quit or were defeated in elections. Not exactly the cream of the crop by today’s influential political circles.
Well, at least we know Kenney has 19 votes, 20 if he votes for himself. It’s about the same as his approval rating for leader from Albertans.

Have we got a deal for you!
Down south in Yankee land, officials at the world-famous Yellowstone National Park are working to ensure the park’s pristine future. They came up with a creative way to generate a few bucks. One can now purchase an “inheritance pass” for a $1,500 donation.
Here is how it works. Inheritance pass holders will be granted general entry into the park for one year. The only catch is the pass is not valid until 2172. That is 150 years from now, hence the name inheritance pass!
The 150 theme was chosen to reflect the park’s anniversary. All donations will be put toward preservation efforts including projects that protect wildlife and preserve resources.
Here is a nice touch. Since buyers of the passes will never see their loved ones [a bold prediction by The Page!] enjoy the pass, they are also granted a free pass for 2022.

And speaking of other promotions, the World Series champion Atlanta Braves are selling a special hamburger for $151!
Wow! Must be a lot of bacon and mayo in that burger!
Called the World Champions Burger, and including edible gold foil, Waygu beef and lobster tail, it represents 151 years since the founding of the franchise.
Besides the burger for your $151, you get a replica World Series ring, or for another $25,000 you can get a limited-edition World Series championship ring, but only while supplies last.
By the way, fries are included! No word if ketchup or vinegar comes with it!
The Page is ordering two and billing his boss!

If Prime Minister Justin Trudeau retires, how will he ever buy anything?
He never uses his own money!

It is Bunny Day on Sunday! Actually, Easter, but Bunny Day sounds way cooler to little kids!
The Page wonders how in the world did the resurrection of Jesus come to mean chocolate eggs and a rabbit running around handing out chocolate?
Kind of the same as dressing up at the end of October and going door-to-door asking for candy!
Oh, well! As long as people have fun!

Have a great week!

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