Saturday is the big day, fellows! It’s Sweeties Day, better known as Valentine’s Day!
Now ladies, don’t be too hard on your favourite fellow if he doesn’t get you a gift up to your standards. Remember, it’s the thought that counts.
And fellows, you better count really high!
The Page found this Top 10 list of Valentine’s Day gifts to help the guys who can’t make a decision or listen to their better half. Here we go with a complimentary comment or free advice afterwards courtesy of The Page!
- Personalized keepsakes like photo books and engraved jewelry.
Who wouldn’t want a photo of The Page? - Gourmet treats such as chocolates, candy boxes, or heart-shaped treats.
Do not get her a Jenny Craig membership with the sweets! - Fresh flowers.
Make sure there is no poison ivy in the bouquet! - Romantic experiences such as a special date.
If you take her to a restaurant, do not make her pay! - Luxury items like cashmere scarves or premium skincare sets.
Ensure she is not allergic to the skincare cream you choose! - Cozy home items like scented candles, blankets, customized pillows.
Ensure it is not the same engraved pillow complete with name you gave your last sweetheart! - Interactive home- based books for couples.
Do not tell her you got it from one of those men’s magazines! - A jar filled with notes of the favorite memories you shared.
Be careful not to mix this up with the latest escapades of your latest “guys out” shenanigans! - Matching apparel.
Whatever you do, do not get the same men’s outfit or women’s outfit twice! - A $500 VISA card.
She might use it as a downpayment for her divorce lawyer fees!
Here is a Valentine’s Day memory: One time, former Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips was asked why he took his wife along on all road trips.
“She’s too damn ugly to kiss goodbye,” he said.
The Page was disappointed to hear last week the pancake breakfasts held each year on Family Day will not be held this year.
Here is the word from Big Lakes County:
“Big Lakes FCSS has made the decision to cancel the 2026 Annual Family Day event. We are currently redesigning the event to ensure stronger alignment with the FCSS mandate and framework. We look forward to hosting an enhanced Family Day celebration in 2027.”
Like many others, the Page will have to go elsewhere to get his pancake fix on Family Day!
Do you mean to say Big Lakes County is now going to pay farmers to get rid of weeds?
Well, not exactly, but The Page sure got your attention, right?
Details still need to be worked out but council is going to determine a rebate for agricultural producers (fancy word for farmers) who use herbicides to rid their land of weeds.
One of the reasons county council passed the policy was because herbicides are expensive and it may prompt farmers to back off from using them. When not used, then the thistles and daisies can run wild, not to mention many other beautiful flowers that suck the nutrients out of the ground destined for crops.
This gets a big Thumbs Up from the farmers but a Thumbs Down from the bees.
The Page watched a very interesting show last week about the Tasmanian Devil. The last time The Page watched the Tasmanian Devil he was doing battle with Bugs Bunny.
The show depicted the sorry state of the animal. Apparently, a cancer is wiping it to the point of extinction. Scientists are very worried.
Toward the end of the show, it said the devil was fighting back in dealing with the disease and might come up with a way naturally and survive. The Page certainly hopes so. Bugs Bunny needs someone to torment, doesn’t he!
And if the devil is developing some sort of immunity, it just might be one of the most studied animals on the planet in hopes a cure for cancer in humans can be found. The Page is cautiously optimistic.
Do you cure a kleptomaniac by letting him take something for it?
The inmate is on death row and about to be executed. The guards are very nice to him and ask him if he wanted anything special for his last meal.
“No, it’s OK,” said the inmate.
Just before he is led up the gallows, the guards ask him if he wanted a cigarette and blindfold.
“No,” says the inmate. “Just get it over with!”
Just minutes before the execution, the guards ask the inmate if he has a final request.
“Can I sing my favourite song first?” he asked.
“Of course,” said the guards.
“One billion bottles of beer on the wall . . .”
A lawyer passes away and arrives at the Pearly Gates. To his shock, there are about a thousand people waiting in line. To his surprise, St. Peter leaves his desk at the gates and comes down the line to greet the lawyer.
St. Peter takes him by the hand and escorts him to the front of the line next to the Pearly Gates.
“I don’t mind all this attention,” said the lawyer. “What makes me so special?
“Well,” says St. Peter. “I added up all the hours you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be 193 years old!”