Welcome to Canada’s latest federal election, which has all the thrills of watching an autopsy!
Nice to see some local people winning a lot of loot lately.
Kevin Berge picked up his $100,000 winnings from the Full House Lottery Loyal draw April 8. The Page anticipated publishing his happy mug but – apparently – no photo was taken! Phooey!
Meanwhile, the $200,000 winner’s name is not yet released. Although many people know the name, and in keeping with this newspaper’s policy, the name will not be published until authorities verify the win.
The Page continues to try and win. Oh, well! Just happy he still has his attractive appearance although he’s been told if good looks were food, The Page would starve to death!
The Page still plans on winning a bunch of beef in the local High Prairie Agricultural Society draw during the Spring Rodeo April 26-27. Confidence is abound! Barbecue plans are being made a secret location as this is being written!
The father of five children is delighted after winning a toy in a raffle. After arriving at home, he gets the children together to decide which one should have the toy.
“Who is the most obedient?” he asks his children. “Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?”
The youngest girl answers.
“OK, daddy, you get the toy!”
The Page was reading last week about a woman who has had nine cosmetic surgeries! Nine, count ‘em, nine!
The Page is thankful his natural beauty shines and speaks for itself.
Shortest and quietest conversation in months!
Federal Liberal Leader Mark Carney was in Alberta April 9.
The Page wonders if anyone had to tell Carney where Alberta is!
We can see the CBC reporters lined up for another fluff piece on how wonderful Carney is.
No matter! After the election Carney will forget about Alberta, as Liberals always do! They only time they remember is when Alberta sends Ottawa another fat transfer payment cheque.
Did you hear about the comedian who was always drunk?
He loved his profession from the cheers to the booze!
If there is one organization that does an incredibly good job of releasing its news, it is the Alberta Serious Incident Response Team (ASIRT), which investigates potential wrongdoing of RCMP members.
A news release April 9 caught The Page’s attention. Two police officers face charge of dangerous driving. While not unique or unheard, the charges stem from an incident in Feb. 25, 2020.
That’s right! Over five years ago!
One has to wonder why it took so long!
Speaking of law enforcement, a justice was frustrated with all the talking in the back of the courtroom which was hampering proceedings.
“The next person who utters a peep,” roared the justice, “will be thrown out of his courtroom! No exceptions!”
A voice is heard from the prisoner’s box.
“Ha, ha, ha, ha!”
A group of tourists are visiting a castle in Scotland over 660 years old!
“Not a stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced in all those years,” said the guide. “What you are seeing now is what people saw 600 years ago!”
“Big deal!” huffed one woman. “They must have the same landlord I have!”
The NHL playoffs start this week! The Page is still saying the Edmonton Oilers will win the Stanley Cup!
Have a great week!