I recently interviewed Michelle O’Neill and Janice Nowochin, the owners of BWorthy Bra Boutique in Slave Lake, for my series of articles on International Women’s Month.
It was a nice interview, and to me, it felt like a conversation.
I asked them about their greatest achievement, and they said seeing their children happy and being a mother.
That hit me!
I suddenly remembered my mother after my interview with them. My mother does not like wearing makeup. She doesn’t like to get a manicure or pedicure. It takes her years before she gets a haircut.
That’s my mother!
I remember being ashamed of her when she went to my school to fix my high school registration.
“Mi, fix your dry lips,” I told her. I always call her mi, short for mommy.
“Ah, nobody cares!” she screamed at me. “You always care what other people would say about you. That’s not how life works!”
We didn’t talk on our way home.
I went back home to the Philippines last summer, and I stayed in mi’s room in her parents’ home. I saw several pictures of mi when she was a teenager. She was wearing lipstick! Her long, thick black hair fell to her waist. She was very petite, and her low-waist pants fits\ her perfectly.
I also saw mi’s wedding picture. She was 25 when she got married to my father. She was stunning in that beige off-shoulder wedding gown. She was holding a bouquet of yellow roses, her favourite ones.
I knew then mi had changed.
Mi changed because of us, her children.
She always tells me it’s not easy to be a mother. You tend to forget yourself when you have children. Not only does your body change, but your priorities.
We are her priority.
Mi never thought of wearing lipstick anymore, only her children. Our safety, our happiness, our future, and so on.
Mi asked for help on her “about me” story, which she wanted to share in her workplace last month. I translated her answers from Tagalog to English while I was typing them out. But she said that she needed to share her greatest success. She hesitated sharing this with me.
Mi said it was marrying my father and having us. And I asked what else? (I thought her answers were pretty short.)
She said having me as her eldest.
I just laughed.
She said she was so happy when I was born because she finally would have a best friend close to her.
I typed her answers quietly. I want to apologize, because as far as I know, I made her feel lonely most of the time. I was never a friend. But I never said this.
I honestly used to think mi and I were very different. Turns out, we’re just the same – we don’t want to admit what we truly feel to people.
Mi, if you can read this, (she doesn’t like reading my stories; she has a very bad eyesight now, but I’m hoping she does!), thank you for raising me, and for being a great woman you are.
You’re my best friend!
And you don’t need to wear lipstick!
Julia Magsombol