Commentary – It was too good to be true!

Chris Clegg

I never knew I was so lovable! It is truly an effort to remain humble.

If you had access to my email account, you would know why.

In just one day last week I was avalanched with offers of money. James Sawadogo, Adama Joseph, Dr. Torres Ebon and Miss Tricia Smith all wanted to send me money. I was receiving an inheritance from people I didn’t know existed. – God bless Uncle Bob! – or share winnings in a lottery I didn’t even buy a ticket for.

It was my lucky day! Who needs Lotto 6/49! Woo hoo! I’m going to be rich!

Just when I thought it was too good to be true Gerald Soba, Deborah Mark, Fatema Sabah Abdallah and Philip Kabore also wanted to send me some dough.

I was already deciding on charities to share my good fortune! How lucky could one person be? And then, guess what? Tapioka Lirnaboso, Samuel Kabore [wonder if he is a relative of Philip!], Cantara Kaborie [hmm, I’m getting suspicious!], Nicole Marrois, Felica George and Elizabeth Edwards wanted to share their dough.

I was even addressed as “beloved one” and I didn’t even know her! I mean, what guy doesn’t want rich women falling at his feet?

I went home for lunch and returned to even more good fortune, if you can imagine!

Dessy Baharudin, James Michael, Miss Mary Kones, James Toon, Paul E. Brown, Ann Hester, Mariam Din, Dominique Yameogo, and Janet Rassana also emailed me offering even more money!

And if you think these people aren’t sincere, consider the fact Dr. Torres Ebon and Elizabeth Edwards actually emailed me twice! How generous of them to ensure I merely didn’t forget their kind offer!

Yes, people, there are a lot of scum in this world. These people prey on people silly enough to send them information. It is likely not one of these names used in the emails is the real name of the cowardly piece of garbage at the keyboard.

It is virtually impossible to catch and prosecute these vermin. The only course of action is to ignore them, no matter how “sincere” – gosh, I’m gagging as I write this, one may be.

When children are growing up they dream of becoming doctors, lawyers and policemen. Not a single child in their kindergarten or Grade 1 class sits down and dreams of scamming innocent people.

What happens to these people as they grow up? I am sure they are spawned from piles of scum mould on the shower floor. Why do people want to cheat, lie, steal?

They probably wax the steps of the senior citizen’s home and yell “Fire!” for kicks, or give a drowning man an anchor, or pour a can of gasoline on a neighbour’s house when it’s on fire.

There are so many good people in the world intent on doing good work. They are fair, honest and hard-working. There are many more of them than the disgusting trash who surf the Internet looking for victims.

It saddens the soul to know there are so many people in this world who are cheats. It is even more disturbing to know they have no shame in destroying people’s lives. Where do these people come from?

Please, people, ignore these emails.

And what is most disturbing is the realization that I am perhaps not as lovable as I first thought! Imagine that!

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