Chris Clegg
Years ago, daily lunch included a visit to a local restaurant. It is common for friends to get together for lunch, morning coffee or a stint at the local watering hole.
The thought occurred me each of the people I enjoyed lunch with have left this world. Steve and Mary Blonsky. Marshall and Marilyn Kocon. Marie Savill and Willis Wilson. All gone!
I was the spring chicken in the group, the young pup. Even in my younger days, I visited more often with uncles and grandparents than friends and cousins my own age. There is a lot of truth to the old saying that wisdom comes from the elderly.
It saddens me to know they are all gone and I miss them.
I was blessed to come from a large family on both my father’s and mother’s side. Plenty of aunts and uncles. Many have also passed away including aunts Elizabeth, Julie, Marie, Pat, and Dorothy as well as uncles Doug, Glen, Terry, Walter, Gary, Ernie, Nick, Dick, and a second Walter. Both sets of grandparents are also gone.
It is sad to reflect on all the memories as one ages. I am now in my seventh decade of life (63) and realize coming from such large families was a blessing and a curse. A blessing there were so many, but a curse so many have died. I was very lucky to not lose a grandparent until I was in my twenties.
We all know friends and family who have lost loved ones. Each lost loved one carries pain an individual must deal with. Some deal with it better than others. Most of us scrape ourselves off the ground and get on with the challenges of life.
Everyone deals with grief in a very personal way. When I attend funerals and address the grieving, I tell them if I knew the words that would lessen the pain, I would tell them. It is the best I’ve got.
My favourite piece of writing was from Pastor Chris Levan in the Edmonton Journal decades ago.
“There was this great preacher who said once that the only comfort he heard at the untimely death of his first-born, was that God’s tears were the first to flow when his son died. In living and dying, we are never alone. God is already there waiting.”
Levan continues.
“It would be foolish to believe this is an answer. When the bitter winds blow, dashing our hopes, there is no final resolution to the problem of suffering and death. The heartfelt search is all we have. Maybe that is enough!”
Whether it is a friend, grandparent, aunt or uncle, brother or sister, niece or nephew, spouse or lover, the pain is real.
I know more than few people who are struggling with loss of loved ones. It is not easy. No one has a 100 per cent guaranteed solution.
But there is hope because we are never alone. Reach out to friends, family, a church community. Never give up! Tomorrow just might be that day when the hurt disappears and healing begins. The sun will shine brighter, the birds will sing louder and a friend’s smile will mean that much more. It will be a glorious day!
Do not dwell on the fact it’s another day lost without a loved one, but one day closer to unification in heaven!
Never give up because no matter how bad things seem there is always hope, which rests on the fact each and every one of us must continue to search for answers in time of sorrow.
Perhaps it is all we need.
Perhaps it is enough.