Chris Clegg
Last night, I received a call that a friend of mine passed away. It was not totally unexpected as he was battling cancer and receiving treatment, but still very sad.
There will be no more morning or evening coffees or afternoons sitting outside the restaurant on a sunny day. He did tell me weeks ago he was ready to go so that does bring me some peace.
Life is a wonderful thing to be cherished. It is a gift we should all take the most opportunity to enjoy, no matter how difficult it can be, and it can be very difficult.
Perhaps the most difficult aspect of life is growing older, and seeing many friends and relatives pass away. Father Time is undefeated and it will all strike us down at some point. It’s just a matter of when the Man Upstairs decides it is time for us to go.
I was lucky to be part of big families on both my father’s and mother’s side. Fifteen aunts and uncles and their families meant lots of cousins, even if it was months and/or years before I saw many of them. There is no stronger bond that blood relatives.
I was past my teens when my first grandparent passed away so I was luckier than most. I made it a priority to visit my grandparents when I could. They loved the visits. Yes, retirement is terrific, but probably boring if you sit in a house and do nothing all day.
I remember standing in line with my grandfather at his son’s funeral.
“This isn’t right,” he told me. “I should be in there.”
I’ve heard that story hundreds of times since. Being young at the time, however, I had never thought of it before. Losing a child is just not the way it should be. The natural evolution is for parents to die first because they are older. This just was not the way it was supposed to be and grandpa was deep in sorrow.
I have lost all but two uncles and one aunt now. Too many cousins, a few of them younger than myself. I am still blessed I have my three sisters and two brothers alive, the youngest will turn 60 June 15. Can’t wait to tease her about that. Hold on, if she is the youngest at 60 that makes me. . .oh, well!
It is natural for humans to grieve and lament the loss of loved ones or friends. We all cope in our own way and search for answers that can give us comfort. Many turn to religion for comfort. Many shrug it of as “That’s all part of life!” and move forward. To each their own, whatever works!
As the years roll on and I realize my time on Earth is closer to the end than the beginning, I begin to look at things differently. I look at all the people around me who have lost loved ones and I seem to notice one common reaction: they say they miss the loved one so much and keep track of how many days, months or years they have been gone.
Instead, may I suggest you try to look at it this way. Look at it as one more day you will be reunited in heaven. One more day closer to when you will see them again. Look forward to the positive rather than grieve over the negative.
But, as humans, most of us are not wired that way. The memories of good times flood our memory banks and spill over as we slide into depression over the loss. Most of us rebound and some of us do not.
Yes, getting old really sucks and seeing relatives and friends pass on! At times it is difficult as the old body wears down and it is a chore to even get up and at ‘em in the morning.
But life is still a great gift no matter what the hardship. Try to be more positive as 2024 begins because there is always a chance tomorrow just might be a better day. One more day to a terrific reunion that will bring that incredible joy.